When I heard that, I was super-impressed and a whole lot more grateful for skilled and knowledgeable medical personnel, but later that night, I sat thinking about it, and all of a sudden, a question I’ve had for a long time was answered.
It seems like this last year has been a lot of ups and downs as well as a lot of drifting on my part. Throughout different times I’ve slacked on reading my scriptures, gossiped, was negative, was rude…Even just a couple weeks ago I went through a really hard time where the choices I was making in music and thoughts were not conducive to the Spirit at all. Before this I’ve never had a personal testimony of the Atonement, but after the dark period a few weeks ago, I finally understood! One night I prayed and poured my heart out, apologizing and asking forgiveness for being so dumb and stubborn. That night I finally understood the mercy and love of our Savior and wondered what I had done to deserve a second chance.
So back to the ICU: Just like the doctors working so hard to keep their patients alive, our merciful Heavenly Father is working just as hard to keep us spiritually alive. I can’t believe I didn't see it before! But seriously, over this last year, there have been so many instances where He could’ve just let me go and step off the path because that’s where I was headed anyways. But He didn't. It seems like just when it was the darkest and most critical moment, God placed something or someone in my path that brought me back. And every time, He welcomed me back with open arms and mercifully helped me forget about the darkness I had experienced. Seriously, it happened every.single.time.
Here are some of the little ‘life-saving interventions’ that have kept my testimony burning:
-a friend’s positive and uplifting Facebook post
-talking to sweet and friendly sister missionaries at Temple Square who didn't even know me but loved and encouraged me anyways
-reading some awesome mission prep books that kept my thoughts focused on my goals of serving an honorable mission
-hanging out with a good friend that reminded me of the blessings of the Gospel
-seeing a beautiful sunset and remembering that the purest joy and peace comes from living God’s commandments
These are only a small number of the endless mercies. I know I could never count them all nor could I ever repay Him for saving me. One of my favorite New Testament scriptures is Matthew 18:12 “How think ye? If a man have an hundred sheep and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine and goeth into the mountains and seeketh that which is gone astray?” I used to think that if we made wrong choices, God would just let us go…after all we were making our own decisions, but thank goodness He loves us enough to go and seek for the dumb little sheep who have gone astray. I’m just one girl among the billions on earth and I’m sure He has other things to worry about, but to Him I matter and He needs me. He needs you.
I’m so incredibly grateful for Christ’s mercy and love. I truly don’t deserve it, but the beautiful thing about the Atonement is that it gives us a second chance so we can try to deserve it and become better. I know that if you watch, you’ll see all the little interventions God makes in your life. Just like any other gospel principle, understanding of the Atonement will only grow if you actually use it…so use it. It’s beautiful :) Thank goodness for the Ultimate Doctor in our life that works so diligently to keep our spirits alive through the night. <3