Again, this week FLEW by! And just like before it was UP, down, UP, down. There wasn't anything specifically exciting or different about this week, but my thought for the week deals with our Savior's love for each one of us:)
The other night, I was pretty much told point-blank that I am a naive, young, small-town girl. Ouch haha. But...it is kind of true. When I came out on the mission, I was expecting that I would catch onto everything super fast, that I would get great at the language within the first couple weeks, that I would be an amazing teacher, ganito, ganito. REALITY CHECK! It hasn't been like that. At all. haha:) Of course I love the people, I love this opportunity to learn the culture here and everything, but it's hard living up to all the rules and expectations of a missionary. There's been a couple days when I've been disappointed with my efforts of the day, and returned home with the expectation that I would feel sad and guilty the rest of the night. But as hard as I tried, Heavenly Father just wouldn't let me be sad!!
Especially one night, I knew that I hadn't done what I knew I should've that day, between teaching and using the language, but as I prayed and thought about it that evening, I felt Heavenly Father's love for me- it was simple, warm, patient. Just like my dad when I messed up at home. I felt Heavenly Father say very tenderly and lovingly "Sister Allen, you are my daughter. I love you so so much. I don't want you to be sad. I know you're not perfect, but that's ok, I love you anyways and that's why I give you tomorrows. So be happy, I still love you." And then not only that, but for the last couple days it's like Heavenly Father has been going out of His way to give me little rays of sunshine and happiness and surprises throughout the day. Most of them are simple like one of our investigators giving us one of my favorite desserts during our lesson (sticky rice cakes!), or a really pretty sky at sunset, but most of them, as I've thought about it, are from other people. Whether it was a hug from one of the other sisters in our apartment (Sister Bishop...she's from Texas and I LOVE her), or a letter from a friend or just things like that, I was reminded over and over again that yes, I'm a missionary and have a lot of things to live up to, but before I was ever a full-time missionary, I was a daughter of God first, and Heavenly Father doesn't want me to forget that:) He's so great. So so great:)
Also, today was probably my favorite P-days (preparation days), and possibly one of my all-time favorite days here on the mission, just because again, I was reminded of Heavenly Father's love for each of us. We had a zone activity and spent several wonderful hours running all over a park on an American military base out here, playing wacky relay games and baseball and volleyball. As of last night I didn't actually want to go, because I was feeling stressed and just wanted to relax, but going was one of the greatest decisions of my life haha! Actually, not really, but it was a pretty great one:) Because for those hours I found myself again- yes of course we need to always be responsible and work hard and everything, but Heavenly Father wants us to be happy still:) And if that happiness comes from playing baseball and eating Frosty's at Wendy's and just enjoying getting to know the other missionaries better, He's ok with that:) It was also a great day because I saw a super cute horse pulling a wagon down the street (sorry I didn't get a picture), and it always feels like summer around here:)
This is all kind of scrambled, sorry, it's hard to describe, but I guess what I want each and everyone one of you to know is that HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES YOU!!! And He's looking for every opportunity to bless you and help you to be happy because you are His beloved son and daughter:) So don't forget that, and don't get down on yourself when you make mistakes, do all you can and just trust that He will make up for the rest:) Read this article as well :)
Again, I love you all so so much and I wish you a happy week! Never forget that YOU ARE LOVED:) I know this church is true and I know that through the Atonement we can become the people we want to be. I know my Savior lives- it's a hard feeling to describe, but simply, I know that He lives and that He loves me:) here is one of my favorite primary songs, "I know that my Savior loves me" :)
Love you!!! :)
"I know that my Savior loves me" lyrics:
1. A long time ago in a beautiful place,
Children were gathered ’round Jesus.
He blessed and taught as they felt of His love.
Each saw the tears on His face.
The love that He felt for His little ones
I know He feels for me.
I did not touch Him or sit on His knee,
Yet, Jesus in real to me
I know He lives! I will follow faithfully.
My heart I give to Him.
I know that my Savior loves me.
2. Now I am here in a beautiful place,
Learning the teachings of Jesus
Parents and teachers will help guide the way,
Lighting my path ev’ry day.
Wrapped in the arms of my Savior’s love,
I feel His gentle touch.
Living each day, I will follow His way,
Home to my Father above.